I mentioned I was a guitarist. I am a composer of music as well. That in itself, is hardly worth mentioning for we all know there are approximately one gazillion people who call themselves composers or songwriters. Not to worry, that is not the real reason for writing this. However, while I am stalled here, I guess I should at least give you a glimpse at what kind of composer I am. If you navigate to my listening page, you will find several examples of recent pieces I have composed (I do hope you enjoy them). I now assume that you went away, listened, and some of your are back and still willing to hear what I have to say!
The composition at the top of the listening page titled: “Joy” was titled “Reverie” a couple of days ago. I wrote “Reverie” in 2007 or thereabouts. I distinctly remember when it was finished, I took a certain pride in it and thought I had created a very good bit of music. Last week I stumbled upon the 2007 manuscript and started looking it over. I still liked the main melody well enough, for I believe melodies are inspired by a higher power, but I became increasingly aware that my part in the compositional process of this work was “less than adequate” from the standpoint of my current level of competence and understanding.
Before I took up this old manuscript, I had been staring at a blank score for an uncomfortable amount of time wondering if it was going to compose itself, or if there was some inspiration forthcoming. So I took the discovery of the manuscript as a blessing and decided to see what I would do with it after 5 more years experience in composing. What I thought at that moment was “At what point is something you are creating, actually created? When is it done?” That struck me as a pretty good question and thought it deserved an answer.
First I want to tell you I believe there is one infinite power, one infinite intelligence, one infinite consciousness that comprises all that is, in which everything exists and of which everything is made. I believe my being is a “bit” of that infinite being, my consciousness is a part of that infinite consciousness, just personalized as me.
As I pondered: “At what point is something I am creating, actually finished and created?”; I came upon a realization that serves me well. Five years ago, when I wrote “Reverie”, my consciousness and my connection to the infinite consciousness was at a certain point as a result of my living and striving. When I viewed it again a few days ago, it was from a new point of awareness and realization, which was a result of the striving and becoming I have gone through over the past five years. What that means to me is that a creation is complete and finished when it reaches the level of awareness and understanding you currently possess in your being. When what you are working on reaches that “highest” level, and you gain an appreciation for it, then declare it finished and let it go.
I knew a man years ago, who had amazing talent working in wood and made a gorgeous classical guitar. It was beautifully made, had a decent sound and would have been a nice instrument for most any guitarist to own. He wanted to become a luthier and build guitars and make a living doing it. We all encouraged him and played the instrument and commented how nice it was. Unfortunately, this man never was able to accept the instrument as adequate of his current state of achievement and awareness, and as a result he never sold that or any other instrument. I often wondered at what level of creation he would now be expressing if only he had sold that first guitar and moved on to the next! He was unable to realize the continuing unfoldment in a life and could not grasp that the perfect instrument will never be built, can never be built – for there always will be a greater unfoldment of consciousness, a higher level of realization, a greater ability to create.
I think I am going to try to live in the right now, do the very best I can do right now and accept what I create as being good and complete. I also am going to understand that all things are indeed temporary and that through continued striving to be more and better, ever greater creations will follow. All is well.